Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Just accepting it…….

   I normally keep it light and airy on the blogity blog but I have had a little something on my mind lately. I recently had a revelation of sorts brought on by many things. I realize I am quite the Debbie Downer a few days before Christmas but this does have a rhyme and reason….kinda, maybe……oh, just keep reading.
 I realized that we spend so much of our lives trying to change people, things, and situations….why do we do this? We chase down what we want whether or not it was ever supposed to be ours, we work so hard to convince people to like us, love us, and value us…..with no regard to whether or not they were ever meant to. In our childhood we heard often, “no, because I said so” or “I’m sorry, you just can’t have that”, I wonder if we still need that type of guidance as adults. I was recently doing a little Christmas shopping………ok, ok, I was mainly people watching, as it wasn’t December 23rd yet, so I felt no urgency to buy, and I watched a very stressed out mother as she bent down face to face with her young child and said, “I’m sorry, you don’t get that”, I guess I found this moment more profound than most. But, if you take the words of the stressed out mother, say them to yourself and put ‘in life’ at the end of it, how many things and people in your life could you apply this to and once applied does it bring us closer to peace within our own lives and what is genuinely meant to be ours.
Personally, I have struggled with this concept most of my life, as a young child and like many young children I felt, if I just loved my father and made him proud, he would be who he was supposed to be. Like many young adults my age, I know now this does not work, it has taken 27 years to realize, ‘I don’t get that…. in life’. Please don’t misunderstand, this blog isn’t about the woes of a single parent child but about people, situations and things in our lives that will never love us, like us, value us or treat us the way we want them to and maybe just accepting it is the way to feel better about it. I tend to think of myself as a pretty resilient gal with a pretty thick skin, but I will tell you a secret…..when it comes to people in my life that I care about, I tend to be quite sensitive and hurt easily when my affection and my love is not reciprocated. We waste so much time, energy and love in our lives, changing, mending, fixing without ever really stopping to accept the fait that God felt necessary to put in our lives. We hurt when people don’t reach the standards WE set for them, we let it upset us when we do for them and they don’t do for us. Maybe someone’s purpose in our lives isn’t always to love us, accept us or be there for us, maybe their purpose is to show ourselves how strong we can be and how we are able to accept that their terms, their love, their appreciation are not always the same as ours.

  I felt it necessary to share this with my blog family, as I will be putting this to work in my own life with the coming of the new year. In doing this, I hope I realize strength I didn’t know I had and I will be more able to love those that truly love me.


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