Monday, January 31, 2011

My Gloria Steinham Soapbox......

I recently saw a group of straight men attack women for smoking, while it started with smoking it ended with them attacking women regarding their looks. This bothered me…..I will whole heartedly agree, smoking is really gross and people shouldn’t do it……all people, not just women.

  Having said that, my problem with men like this is that so often they are the same kind of men, uneducated, unattractive, broke with at least one kid…….hmmm. So my question is, what is it about something charmingly average hanging between your legs that makes you feel like you’re entitled? And why is it always men that do this, I could be wrong here but I have never seen a group of women standing around talking about how its so upsetting when they meet a guy that seems to have a lot going for him and then they realize he’s just a shallow loser…..nope women take you in and try to fix you.

    When I was single, I got criticized all the time for not dating men with children, I just didn’t. It wasn’t something I wanted or needed in my life; to me it was like getting on the airplane of life holding your baggage and someone else’s. I got demonized for this, especially by men but I can’t tell you how many times I got asked the, “do you have kids question?” by a man…..and THAT was ok?!?
My favorite excerpt from The Torch…………

 “Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon.”
Author unknown, quoted in The Torch, 14 September 1987

Birthday Shout-Out.....

Us back in our high school days.
Apparently we did not own tweezers.....
This one is a little late….well because we celebrated it late and I didn’t want to berate you guys with multiple birthday shout outs right out of the gate. This one is to my very best friend….Michael, he turned twenty seven recently and we did it up right!

We have been friends for ten years now…..and miraculously we haven’t aged a day…hmm. He is the very best friend a gal could ask for….he always listens and although more often than not the advice he gives me was already there, sometimes you just need to hear it from your best friend. His brilliantly preformed duties include……listening to me dissect a problem to death, laughing at our countless inside jokes, being there and understanding when very few others are, out drinking me, supporting my hair brained ideas and loving me for all the hot mess that I am.
My dear, you are the Ethel to my Lucy, the Rhoda to my Mary, the Lavern to my Shirley, the Jack to my Karen, the Oprah to my Gayle, the Aurora to my Rosie, the Hillary to my CC………you get the picture.    

Things have certainly improved.....

Looking forward to countless more birthdays until we are drinking cosmos and spreading rumors in the old folks home in Florida.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Come back my dear summer, we have been apart for too long. Today I washed dishes that were not even dirty just to warm my hands up……..ok they might have been dirty and I might have had to do them regardless but I enjoyed it more than usual. I hate dishes, don’t you? Bringing it back to my initial thought…..summer, I miss it, dearly. I am not a winter girl……I’m a cold weather sissy and when your bottom is already slightly big, winter clothes do you no favors.This morning when I woke up the ground was covered with white and the only sounds coming from my TV were news desk people talking about wrecks and not walking with your hands in your pockets on ice........uuuuhg (eye roll). So I have decided to ignore winter weather.....much like a man you didnt want a second date with......if I ignore it, it will go away. I just have to share some summer……….I hope you are enjoying winter more than me but by chance your not, these are for you.

Look at all the flowers!!.....And of course the marvelous Miri!

My all time favorite summer snack.....with a little sea salt, of course.

Picking sand plums for homemade jelly......that I made.

A little piece of our pasture and the pear tree....mid summer.

And an all smiles, slightly sun burned Miri, Me and Pi.
So lets all cling to our snuggies, in front of our fireplaces, drinking hot toddies and pray for the first sign of lovely spring. Hope these pictures helped bring a little sun light to your dreary winter days.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Pink Nikes in Smoldering Grass

The morning started off as any other morning does…….staring at the coffee maker, hoping by some chance I can will it to move a little faster….notice how that never works?
After doing a little ad work from my office at home I stepped outside to let my doggies out for a potty break……(just to give you a slightly better visual, no shower, brown leggings, oversized ratty sweater that I should have thrown away many, many moons ago and even worse house shoes). Standing out on my porch I notice multiple huge clouds of smoke. In the last three years, I have learned that nothing scares the bejeebers out of country folk quite like grass fires, so I was immediately attentive. Being the Lois Lane that I am…..(ok, ok I may or may not have given myself that nickname after getting the newspaper job, chopping all my hair off and dying it black…….hey, it still works….right?) I immediately grabbed my camera and my Oklahoma press pass, hopped into Marsha and blazed down toward the fire, now this may not impress you much but how often do you get to travel towards a fire instead of away from it and firemen are always exciting, right ladies..?..
Here is another little secret about rural areas………roads don’t have names……rural people use landmarks like “Mr. Smith’s barn”, “south of Bill’s pond”, or “in between the two water towers”, during this entire escapade I was wishing Q was with me because he really knows these areas and landmark slang… for me…..well…..I’m a better city driver but the fact that I am stupidly fearless helps me on nameless dirt roads. As I try and locate the fire with only the help of a cloud of smoke billowing above me…..I started to feel like it was impossible and I began looking around and realized I might have been lost…….About that time I took a left turn and ran right into lights, police lights, fire truck lights, spot lights…….(ok, no spot lights but three kinds of lights sounded better than two). I barely get my ol’ Marsha in park before I’ve hopped out and waltzed right up to the boys fighting the fire. I successfully stayed out of their way and it wasn’t until I was about fourteen pictures in that I realized I still had not taken a shower and I was still wearing the same stunning attire that I had been wearing around my house and all I had bothered putting on were my pink Nikes. So there I was, bed head, brown tights, overly worked sweater, pink Nikes standing in still smoldering grass and although I had just realized what a hot mess I was…… was clear all the hard working young men around me had already realized that fact……It made for some good newspaper work and a new experience.

Birthday Shout-Out.....

So I decided that this year on the ol’ blog I will start doing ‘birthday shout out blogs’! What this means iiiiiiis all those that are dear to me get a big fat blog just for you on your birthday…..or within a few days of your birthday! Yaaaay! After all, Birthdays ARE our own personal holidays.....right?

This last Saturday was my Mom’s birthday! My Mom is a pretty amazing woman…..she has seen many struggles in her life and has always come out on the other side stunning. She always supported my dreams (despite how ridiculous they always were), she always told me I didn’t need a man for anything much less to make me happy and she always, always, always  laughed at my jokes. It wasn’t until recently that I realized how lucky I am to have a mother that really understands the importance of leaving the world a better place than how you found it. I see so much of her in me and since she is aging remarkably well…….this makes me happy.                                                       
I have her smile.                                         
I have her sense of humor.
I talk like her.
I laugh like her.
And best of all…. I love like her.
       To the moon, Mama!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Happy Weekend!

I hope your weekend goes by very veeeery veeeeeeeeery slow. By the way, I have decided I will soon be trading in my current car for a VW Bus....pure excitement....right here, folks! And a little something to look forward of the most exciting days I have ever had will be blogged about soon.......soooo......stand by.........ok, maybe not "by" about near or close....sounds better. Its not such a huge commitment on your part...

Just so you know, I will let all of you ride in it.....

The Best Janice Soup.....ever....ever....really, I mean it....ever..

Ok, since I have never in my life met anyone who had a New Years Resolution of gaining weight, I thought you guys might like this. I have recently made a personal decision to transition myself to the raw food diet. I’m very excited for it, but I thought before I do that I may want to detox a little. And as long as I could remember, nothing kicks off a lifestyle change (note we are not using the dreaded D-word) like cabbage soup…….(I’m pausing for your groans)…….I know, I know. But I promise I came up with a great recipe and I am going to share it with you…….don’t you feel special? I have decided not to call it “cabbage soup” because lets be honest, nobody wants to eat that. So in honor of my one and only Cabbage Patch doll, we will be calling this very special soup, Janice Soup. Yes, my Cabbage Patch doll’s name was Janice….as in Joplin. I am who I am.

Janice Soup
1 head fresh cabbage (red or green) chopped into bite sized pieces.
1 bunch broccoli or cauliflower…(red cabbage turns cauliflower purple…its kinda cool)
Half of a white onion chopped
5-7 carrots peeled and diced
5-7 celery stocks chopped
1 C Kidney Beans
1 C Black Eyed Peas
1 C whole Green Beans…(the fresh ones are wonderful and cheap)
1 C Mushrooms
(Don’t forget to wash and scrub all your fresh veggies)

Into your pot pour ¼ a cup of Olive oil and let your onions, celery and carrots get tender, after they are tender pour in the remainder of your fresh veggies. Your pot might look a little over flowy but have no fear it will all cook down. 
3-4 large cubes of chicken or vegetable bullion
1 Tbs of Garlic Powder
1 tbs of Cayenne Pepper
1Tbs Black Pepper
Dash of Sea Salt
5 C Water

Let all ingredients simmer until cabbage is tender. Once cabbage is tender, pour in any canned ingredients and heat the soup throughout. If you like any additional veggies or beans or if your soup needs more of a specific spice, add it. Just watch your salt.  


Monday, January 3, 2011

Who else is tired of their resolution...............anyone?......No?........Hello? Oh, yeah me neither, I was just asking.